Selfcare is something many of us struggle with. It is easy to care for a friend or even help a stranger – so why is it so hard to care for ourselves? Some of it is conditioning; perhaps we grew up in a household where it was better (by that I mean 'safer') to keep quiet about our own needs and help where we could. Perhaps we were subtly coerced into doing that or openly praised for helping others and we began to think that to help others was a way of being seen and being loved. We need to challenge those beliefs because we deserve love regardless of our usefulness.
Or maybe we picked up on a vibe in society that gives special credit to people who help others and marks out people as 'bad' or 'selfish' if they don't. We have to challenge that too – and the language around it. Selfcare is not the same as selfishness. Selfcare is simply looking after yourself; listening to what you need and honouring yourself as an individual. How can you ever honour others when you don't honour yourself?
Or maybe we picked up on a vibe in society that gives special credit to people who help others and marks out people as 'bad' or 'selfish' if they don't. We have to challenge that too – and the language around it. Selfcare is not the same as selfishness. Selfcare is simply looking after yourself; listening to what you need and honouring yourself as an individual. How can you ever honour others when you don't honour yourself?
Selfcare is something I am learning myself. Every so often I embark on a 'Self-kindness practice' for a certain period of time - perhaps a lunar cycle (29 days). I find that this creates a vessel or container for the practice and helps me work through and gain insights. I highly recommend it.
When you start to practice selfcare, you begin to really understand yourself and your boundaries and this helps you to care for others. And it is also more authentic. There is no duty or compulsion. You give from your overflow; you give because you want to; because you have energy to spare. It is a win: win situation! But you won't realise this until you start to really look after yourself. Trust me and give it a go. It will be the least selfish thing you do!
When you start to practice selfcare, you begin to really understand yourself and your boundaries and this helps you to care for others. And it is also more authentic. There is no duty or compulsion. You give from your overflow; you give because you want to; because you have energy to spare. It is a win: win situation! But you won't realise this until you start to really look after yourself. Trust me and give it a go. It will be the least selfish thing you do!
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